Earlier last week, I considered taking down my blog and removing my virtual personal corner from the internet. And by remove I mean delete my page, get a refund on the rest of my hosting contract and pretend this site never existed.
Why you may ask?! Honestly, I felt like my space wasn’t good enough. I was comparing my page to others, looking at my stats, and felt like a little fish in the big pond of blogging. I noticed that there were a few bloggers who started around the same time as me or later who seemed to be much more successful and truthfully it was discouraging to see.
Even though I know that most of these bloggers have been doing this for years, and even though I know that a lot of them put in 100000% more work than me because this is what pays their bills, I still somehow felt inferior to them. It no longer mattered that I started this thing to do what I love most: write and share beautiful (and sometimes the not so beautiful) pieces of my world in hopes of helping and inspiring others. I got caught up in the hype and keeping up with everyone else and almost stopped doing one of the things I love the most because of it.
If you’ve been following along, you’ve probably noticed that I talk about a WIDE range of topics. I originally made this a lifestyle blog because honestly, I get bored easily and I wanted the flexibility to share whatever I wanted without feeling tied to a specific niche or category. So if school is taking over my life, you’ll see a bit more med school posts. If church was poppin’ and Pastor shared an inspirational message then I may share that here. If I made changes in my apartment and progressed the design process then you’ll see that too. I have been trying to narrow down my categories (as of right now its life, med, decor, and faith). But somehow, after playing the comparison game, I felt like that was not enough. I started comparing my content to other bloggers’ and even considered rebranding and being even more narrow with my content since I noticed a bunch of other blogs doing the same.
After a few hours of contemplating pulling the plug, I randomly received a surprise message from a TV show producer. He found my blog and wanted me to join the show for taping. Honestly y’all I thought it was a SCAM, but luckily for me, it wasn’t. They needed a medical student’s perspective and thought I was a good fit. After a phone call and then a quick Facetime meeting with the producer and director, I was officially signed on to join.
I was ready to quit all because I didn’t feel good enough or popular enough or liked enough all based on standards built on blog stats and social media.
I considered changing my style and my content to copy and imitate others. After I got called by the producers I realized that 1) People are reading my content (I still don’t know how he found me) and 2) I am doing just fine by being me. There’s always going to be someone stronger, better, smarter, etc than you. It’s okay to look up to those people for inspiration but you have to draw the line there. There’s a hole missing that only YOU and YOUR PURPOSE can fill. The world doesn’t need another them, but instead it needs YOU.
The craziest part about this situation was that the producer specifically mentioned that he contacted me because of my content. Yes, the same content I was ready to delete and start over so I can be just like everyone else. He enjoyed that I had interests outside of medicine and my varying content made me more appealing and a better fit to be on the show. NOW IMAGINE IF I HAD CHANGED IT UP TO WRITE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?! I probably would not have been qualified or as desired for the show.
Filming was a fun experience and I can’t wait to share more. I’m thankful to the production team for having me and I hope I have other opportunities to be on TV. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to be the next Dr. Oz. I do have a few other plans up my sleeves but you’re gonna have to wait a while to watch those unfold.
Anyways, my experience can be used as a learning point for us all. Stay true to yourself and TRUST the process. Others may be shining now but your turn will come. Continue to be genuine and work hard and others WILL notice. This TV opportunity was cool, but I know that there’s so much more in store. I truly believe that God had a hand in this. He’s been working on me and preparing me for something greater and honestly I get so caught up in reaching the end goal that I forget that I still have to endure the struggle and the journey. So next time you find yourself playing the comparison game, instead of wishing you could be that person or have their success… think about what they did to get to that point. But don’t stop there. Put a plan together and execute it. Most people aren’t handed their success so who are we to be envious or wish that success would fall into our lap. I’m working on calming the green-eyed monster within me and instead of getting envious I get even more dedicated to pursue my goals. August just started, so join me this month in being INTENTIONAL about our plans and putting our ideas into action! Hustle hard!
P.S. This is what I wore for the show! I was going for casual yet professional since I was being introduced as a medical student. I’ll share more details and photos from this look later on this week! And yes, as promised before, I WILL talk about my hair cut and dye process as well.